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I'm really sorry that you feel that way. I am an alumna initiate. I wanted to get back involved with greek life after having graduated but was living 600 miles from the school I did most of my undergraduate work (I was a member of a local while in college). Yes, I did miss out on being a part of this organization while in college - the chapter on our campus had closed in 1967 and I was an undergrad in the early 90s. However, I was my initiating chapter's chapter adviser as well as hold other advisory positions. I have also been involved in setting up my fraternity's archives among other things. I guess one thing that I have that some collegians have is a larger view of the fraternity. I have never been made to feel any different than an alumna who initiated while an undergrad. I have been involved in alumna chapters as well as in the process of starting another one here in Wisconsin - because there isn't one where I'm currently living and I miss the sisterhood.
I guess the experience of greek life is all about what you want to get out of it - do you want to really be involved with the collegians or just the alums? Do you want to be involved internationally or just locally? AOII has a past international president that is an alumna initiate - Joan is great and still EXTREMELY active in AOII. Alum initiates also have not experienced the burn-out that most collegians/new alums have and so are more likely to be more active over the long run than most new alums. . . .
I would also be really careful about how you act around your brothers that picked your fraternity out of the hundred or so that are available. He saw something special and even though you are proud to call him a brother you may inadvertently look down on him because you don't think he has the heart of a 'true' brother. . . . Don't alienate him/them at all
Sarah
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