[Alpha O]

As someone whose first little depledged before initiation, I'm going to tell you to take a big. My chapter prioritized getting me a little the next year; I'm not sure if other chapters work the same way. I felt bad that my little ended up depledging, but I got over it pretty quickly. My former little's situation was a bit different--she and I really connected (we had known each other prior to recruitment) and she connected to the other people in the chapter, but she had other priorities and realized she didn't want to be Greek at all. It's fine, sometimes things don't work out.

The reason I advise you to take a big is because I think your big can really make a difference in your experience of the chapter and whether you decide to stay or not, and therefore I think it's important to take one, even if you aren't sure whether you will stay. I have met girls from various chapters who said that they didn't feel like they belonged until after they got their big sisters and/or several weeks in. What you're feeling is completely normal!

Additionally, I think that you should connect more with the sister you already feel a connection to, as well as her friends within the chapter. If they're older than you, that's fine. One of the beautiful things about being in a sorority is that you can get close with girls from any of the grade levels.

As for your pledge class partying a lot--I can't speak to anything specific regarding this, but I can say that I was a wild child freshman year and I kind of calmed down over time. (I'm an ENFJ btw.) Starting sophomore year, I realized that being wild all the time wasn't who I was or wanted to be. So I stopped allowing myself to feel pressure to do things that didn't make me feel that great. I still went out, but it wasn't as often and I would go home early if I felt that I wanted to. Starting at college can be really hard, whether you are in a sorority or not. Like a lot of posters have said, those connections don't always come naturally and sometimes you have to work at it. My chapter wasn't that large and there were girls who went out a lot, who went out sometimes, and who didn't go out at all. That sort of thing didn't define our sisterhood. We still connected with each other, even if we had opposite personalities. Sure it might take more work, but there is a lot that people can learn from others who are different from them.

It would probably help if you organized some events and invited people from your pledge class/sorority. Invite them over to see movies, go out for ice cream, have a weekly viewing party for a favorite TV show, etc etc.

The other thing I wanted to mention was that it might be good that these girls could get you out of your comfort zone. You said that you're not one to go out, but it might be good for you to do so occasionally. You definitely shouldn't feel pressured to drink or do things you're not comfortable with or change your personality, but I've found that it has helped me grow and develop myself as a person when I've challenged myself in different ways. And if going out doesn't appeal to you at all, you don't have to.

Wishing you the best of luck!