Quote:
Originally Posted by DubaiSis
I really think it's the entitlement problem. For good or bad these girls have had incredibly easy lives. They got great grades due to grade inflation, made the teams they wanted to be on, and they're parents could afford to buy them whatever they wanted through their whole childhood. So rush is really the first time they're on their own. And it is STRESSFUL. Yes, placement rates are higher than they've ever been. But the snowflake has to deal with rejection for the first time in her life and may have to accept normal, ordinary, good enough. And that's a pretty tough pill to swallow.
I can't blame her for her feelings. My biggest advice to parents with a high schooler is to start managing expectations now. And maybe have her work on something she sucks at to give her experience in failure and recovery. Not just failure. That would be mean. Learning to get over it and succeed anyway is the goal. Then maybe getting a less than full invitation list wouldn't be so devastating.
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Dubai Sis - I agree with you 100%. Libby had really never faced any kind of rejection at all, and I had VERY serious discussions with her about the fact that she would possibly be cut by sororities, and that even if she didn't really "like" the chapters that cut her, the rejection would still sting. The point of recruitment was to find a home away from home, if that is what was meant to be for her.
I like to think that she was prepared for the reality of recruitment, which is why I shared her feelings about the stress involved. It really didn't go away until Bid Day for her. She took the process seriously and ignored the "tiers" that are so openly discussed on Greekrank and among the PNMs. She was invited back to "top" houses and "middle to bottom tier" houses. She could have cared less about any of that, while several girls in her Rho Gamma group were focused only on the "Big 5" (whatever that is).
None of that clouded Libby's judgement, and she was able to choose a place for herself. She found herself defending houses a couple of times when girls were saying really mean and ugly things. The tent talk made her uncomfortable, and she realized that lots of the girls who were complaining had been released from chapters that they wanted. They weren't willing to look any closer at some of the houses, so they either made the best of the situation or trash talked.
Not that it matters, but Libby told me that at every single house she visited, she asked her rushers how they were doing. She said that she could not imagine how exhausted they must have been, because she was exhausted herself. She tried to imagine staying up until 3 am blowing up balloons or choosing who to invite back, and then having to be totally "on" at 8 am for a group of PNMs who may or may not want to be at your house.
For some reason, she felt that showing interest in the girls as people really helped break the ice in a lot of houses. And for Libby, it isn't fake. It is just how she is. She is very outgoing, social, and makes friends easily. Recruitment for my oldest daughter probably would not have been as energizing for her (she is not Greek and doesn't want to be) as it was for Libby. The process would have completely overwhelmed her, which I think is the case for many girls who are outside the bubble of their hometowns for the first time.