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It is best when a legacy has a rec from the family member--but we had a weird situation this year and this is how we addressed it: Daughter is a true legacy to one sorority through paternal grandmother, and while maternal grandmother's sorority does not recognize granddaughters as legacies any more, we were told that grands do get bumped above PNMs with no family connections at all. So--I told both grandmothers a while back that we would need recs/letters of introduction for daughter.
Paternal grandmother has had major health issues and has been increasingly erratic in her behavior. Rather than bother her with sorority stuff during this tough time, we consulted daughter's other rec writers for that sorority, and one of them noted in her letter that grandmother was ill and might be unable to submit a letter. Grandma realized two weeks ago that recruitment was drawing near, sent an email to the chapter's rec chair, and sent us the confirmation response from the house.
My father died in March after a year-long bout with cancer, and Mom/maternal grandmother has had a very tough time dealing with his illness and death. Again, we didn't want to burden her with this, so we contacted daughter's rec writers for that sorority and they both mentioned in their letters why maternal grandmother might not be available for letter of introduction. Mom, however, insisted on doing it, so I helped her draft the letter and she submitted it with daughter's packet.
We'll see how things work out, but we were assured by members of both sororities that having other rec writers who can explain the absence of legacy introductions in such cases is sufficient and appreciated.
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