Thread: can't have kids
View Single Post
  #3  
Old 08-02-2002, 10:13 AM
Ginger
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I don't have much to add to what was said above, other than to say that I feel for what you're going though.

because of my history of anorexia, I miscarried my first child last summer, and was told that it's very possible I will lose any further pregnancys I might have, because my ED stunted my puberty and didn't let my uterus develop properly.

That was a year ago, and i'm still learning how to deal with it. It's been my dream all my life to be a wife and mother, and having that possibility taken away is something you have to learn to deal with every day.

re: your boyfriend's reaction. My boyfriend (at the time) reacted similarly when I told him the news. He said he never wants children, but wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't bear him one, if he changed his mind. We've since broken up, and he's told me now, since there's been some time and some emotional distance, that his reaction was mainly out of fear and ignorance. It's difficult for men to understand how deeply ingrained the desire for children (or at least ability to have children) is in a womans mind and heart. One of the biggest things I had to learn was not to think I was "less than a woman" because of my health issues. That can be difficult for men to understand.

Give him, and especially yourself, some time. These emotions aren't going to go away in a week, or a month, or even a year. Hopefully your boyfriend will realize that the best way to get through this, for both of you, will be to do it together.
Reply With Quote