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Panhellenic doesn't want alums bothering the chapters any more than usual during recruitment, or influencing PNMs by engaging them in conversation about one house or another. I've never really heard anything about moms contacting alums about their daughter's experience while recruitment is under way, but I can see how that would be a concern (although there's absolutely no way to control that).
My daughter already knows that I don't expect to hear from her during recruitment week. Of the five houses that family members belonged to, she's a direct legacy to only one, although my mom did write her a lovely letter of introduction for her house, which doesn't recognize granddaughters any more as legacies. My sister-in-law's house is particularly legacy-heavy at UT, so despite her lovely intro letter, daughter doesn't expect to be high enough on their list to get very far. She made a lot of friends during orientation, and they've been grouptexting ever since, so she knows she'll have a good group of people to hang with regardless of how recruitment goes, and she's looking forward to making dorm friends as well. I'm really not that worried about her--she's grown up watching me represent our group in Panhellenic and writing recs and letters for Austin girls, and she has a pretty clear idea of what she's getting into.
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