[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Okay, so like two weeks ago I found out I can't have kids.

At first I thought the reason it was bugging me was because it was so new, and after a week or two I wouldn't really think about it anymore.

But now it's been a little bit and I'm still really, really stressed out about it. The strange thing is that while I always wanted to have a family, I never really *focused* on it -- like, I don't go out on dates thinking, "will this guy be a good father?" etc. But now it's like this door I'd always assumed would be open is closed, and it's freaking me out.

I don't quite know what the deal is. Do you guys think this worry'll go away, or what? I can't quite put my finger on why this is bothering me so much!