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The vast majority of men and women would look at the Swarthmore fact set and think "if that's rape, then geez, I'm guilty"
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I can't speak to the vast majority, but that's true of me, anyway. I've both raped and been raped if that's rape. You tell your partner you aren't in the mood, the partner gets undressed and tries to be seductive, it works, and consensual sex happens without the verbal "no" ever being withdrawn. If the seduction doesn't work to change your mood, you say, "Nice try, honey, maybe tomorrow."
As far as my boyfriend is concerned, if we're in bed together and he pulls my panties down, and I just watch silently, that means "yes, keep going."