Originally Posted by sweetheart272
thanks for your reply!
what's complicated about the infractions of the past is when this all initially happened the proceedings of my disciplinary meetings were very vague about most of the infractions. i couldn't list the exact infractions that are in my "record" or whatever because even when i asked they wouldn't tell me.
although i don't wish to slander anyone or disclose personal or private info on this forum, i'm making sure that no school, sorority, or individuals can be identified based on my statements.
i do think it's important to disclose, not just on this post but in my correspondence with the board, that my early disciplinary hearing meetings mostly consisted of the older girls yelling at me, personally insulting me, and using lots of curse words. clearly, the reports that they sent to nationals about these hearings must have included inaccurate information. up until now, i've never had a chance to communicate my side of the story.
so, back to your original point… although i'm not sure what exactly is on my "long list of infractions," i will admit that there were rules i broke in the past that i shouldn't have (albeit i do not agree that they were serious). for instance, in my state, technically it's a law that you're not allowed to drive over any of the lines in parking lots, but just because you do that doesn't mean you should be arrested.
furthermore, even if all of the initial infractions were documented, that was years ago, and since i was watched under a microscope the whole time since i was on probation since, and the fact that they finally reinstated me off probation, i think that shows that my actions several years ago are not a reflection of who i am now.
i think that the most recent incident should be considered separately from my infractions from years ago. as for this incident, there's grey area as to whether or not i "broke a rule" because it falls under the category of "representing the sorority poorly" and that my actions made the sorority look bad. a rule like this is very subjective, and up to interpretation. i feel it's important to call certain injustices i've experienced because i don't think the situation would be handled the same way if it were another member.
so, i'm hoping i can successfully represent myself as a good member of the sorority. i think the decision here ultimately comes down to a character judgement of whether or not i'm "bad PR" for the sorority, i just want to make sure the decision makers have the right information to make that decision fairly. i just worry that they won't be able to because for years the only thing they've ever heard about me are negative (possibly untrue) reports from the disciplinary committee, and never about all the good stuff i do.
again, i appreciate your input, especially that ranting and blaming others can make it sound like i'm not taking responsibility. but i think the decision being made here would be different if certain information were omitted. for instance, if i had the same record in an exemplary chapter that had thorough supervision and documentation of all meetings… and the infractions were evidence based (unable to be manipulated by opinion or hearsay)… and there wasn't so much grey area, confusion, or misrepresentation.
pretty much, it's my word against my chapter's leaders about whether or not i'm a good member. at least some of my past infractions were rooted in mistakes i made or rules i broke, but i "did my time" and was already punished for them, then judged to be changed enough to be readmitted into the sorority. nationals would obviously be inclined to take the side of a group of leaders rather than one member who isn't an officer… but i think if they knew how corrupt the leadership, members, and operations of the chapter were, they wouldn't be inclined to find the word of the other members as so credible.
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