Originally Posted by sweetheart272
hi all,
i will keep this vague as i do not want to associate any of this with my university or sorority.
however, i've searched all through these forums and can't seem to find any specific advice to help me in my situation.
i am a member who has been recommended for termination by my house's standards committee. it was for reasons of personal conduct that they felt represented the sorority poorly.
i disagree with their decision and feel i have been unfairly targeted and treated poorly throughout all my years in the group.
at this point, the decision is up to nationals. i want to present my side as best as possible to avoid further punishment that i feel is unfair.
i realize in similar threads the advice most commenters give is "it varies from chapter to chapter, read the bylaws, etc."
i have done all this, and have the right to write a letter on my behalf and request a meeting (at my expense) with the members of the national board of directors.
it might be a longshot, but i'm wondering if anyone reading this has been involved in a similar situation (either as the "accused" or as a standards board, executive board, or adult employee of nationals or chapter advisor) who would have any more information or advice about how i should go about this process.
for instance, i have so much to say that i could probably write a novel as my "letter"… lol. they indicated that there is no maximum length, but obviously being somewhat concise is going to be necessary (i don't want to send them something so long they just skip it or something) so obviously i'm going to have to pick and chose what to highlight, and figured that if there was anyone out there with experience in the area, they might have a better idea than my guesses as to what is most important to emphasize.
i would assume that the best strategy is to emphasize my positive qualities and contributions to the chapter. also, like i said i've been going through similar situations for years. in fact, i was on probation for quite a long time. even though i was so resentful and mad at first because i felt it was really unfair and do think that the members on the disciplinary committee put me on probation not because they were concerned for me or the chapter, but because they personally didn't like me so they compiled every instance they could as infractions, even though a lot had grey area. not going to lie, being on probation totally sucked and if i had the choice of if i could turn back time whether or not i'd wanna be probation for that time, i'd choose no. but, in retrospect i really have seen the silver lining. even though i don't think i was a bad sister to begin with, i think all my hard work trying to get back in good standing made me so much better. i really feel that i learned and grew soooo much because of my probation, as miserable as it was, so i think if anything my past history of infractions/probations should be regarded as a reason why i'm a stronger member than others now, not as a reason why i'm a weaker one who should immediately be terminated upon any disciplinary conflict.
however, because they could read all that and be like "sorry you're a good person but rules are rules so we have to terminate you anyway because you have more infraction reports than anyone else in your chapter" so i also think it's important to include a portion about how that's not an accurate representation of my chapter's behavior (there are many sisters who do really bad and illegal things, the only difference is that they don't get reported).
also, the chapter itself is in really bad shape in my opinion. they've been on probation many times, but are still breaking many rules and conducting business poorly. instead of making efforts to become a better sisterhood, they spend time having workshops and educating members on how to hide this stuff from nationals or any other sorority official who comes to evaluate. i really want to expose this stuff to nationals, because i am one of the few members in my chapter who actually cares about the REAL values of this particular sorority (its purpose, the philanthropy, the sisterhood, etc.) more than partying, so even if my membership ultimately does get terminated, i care a lot about my sorority on a national level, so i think they need to know about these things.
however, i'm concerned if i include this information (i do have some evidence and documentation) it will reflect poorly on me for being a "tattle-tale" or they'll think i'm just lying about everything because i want to get revenge on the chapter for getting me in trouble or something.
does anyone have any thoughts or helpful input on my situation?
i realize some people may read this and think "well then why do you still want to be in the sorority if you think there's all those issues". my response to that is that i don't want to be terminated because even if i don't want to be affiliated with the collegiate chapter at my university, it would still allow me to support the national philanthropy and sisterhood through an alumna organization.
thanks in advance for any help! i hope no one finds anything here offensive. i have good intentions!
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