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Originally Posted by texasprincess
Hi y'all
I go to a small school with less than 10 sororities, and went through recruitment last year. Now on our campus there's a really weird and unfair thing where not all the chapters have houses - and it's not because they're just in the process of building new ones or anything, it's literally that the school will only allow a few of the chapters to have houses (it's less than 50% of them). I got a bid to an organization that I love and fit in with so well, but we do not have a house.
I am having a lot of jealousy this year seeing my friends in housed chapters living in their beautiful houses while I am in a normal dorm. I really wanted that house experience, and while I love my sorority so much, I feel like I am missing out a lot of the time. I keep reminding myself how wonderful my sorority is, but every time I see an Instagram of the girls in housed sororities baking cookies together at 2AM, or decorating together, or really anything my heart hurts a little. How do I deal with the jealousy of seeing these girls have the quintessential sorority experience, even though I know my chapter is right for me?
Blessings,
Carly
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First, I think it is good you recognize that this is something that bothers you. I don't know why your campus is allowing an unequal housing situation, but three things are often mentioned in a university discussion of this - safety, enough space, and maintenance costs.
I have been around a while and in housed chapters we still have lots of
Complaints that there is either not room for everyone that wants to live in the house that the house is too expensive or that there are too many rules living in the house. It is a key thing cited when women resign as upperclassmen. The one chapter I advised where everyone liked living in, we had frequent maintenance issues because it was an old house.
Your friends in the housed chapter very likely deal with higher dues, girls who don't clean up after themselves, overcrowding, sharing, drama, noise, and it can all be crazy fun - or sometimes too much. We used to have a friend that lived in a frat house that would come to our dorm to use the bathtub and get away from his brothers every once in a while.
There is one NPC group that holds that large structures make it harder for the university to keep women safe from outsiders. I have had many discussions with girls that did not think it was a big deal to have friends over to the house and give them the combination to the door.
If you really love your sisters - think about things you can do with your limited space if that's what makes you feel left out. Have a grab a date party, midnight library run, have everyone go to the same place one day for a "Lunch spot"- ask your RA if you can decorate the hall or lobby for Halloween or Christmas?
Enjoy your college years while you can. Don't worry about the other groups
- and when your friends in the house are stressed out - share your bathtub, let them crash on your couch when they are sick, or let them study at your place when there is too much going on at the house