[KappaKittyCat]

This thread needs to be revived... Haven't heard from lots of people yet, and I really need the laughs. But to be fair, I'll ante up too. These are kinda long, but they're worth it (or so I'm told). I've got one intoxicated story and one sober one:

Intoxicated:
Earlier this year I was sort-of seeing a guy. He was far more interested in me than I in him, and I hate those sorts of situations. For that reason I'd avoided physicality; it can have unintended connotations when one party is more attatched than the other. He'd gotten a job about an hour from where I was going to school and kept bugging me to come visit him for the weekend at his new place. I was very hesitant to go 'cuz I knew it would involve spending the night (we'd undoubtedly make use of one intoxicant or another and there was no way I'd be driving home like that) and I didn't want to put myself in that situation.

He kept pestering me about it, so finally I acquiesced and set off for his place. He was super-sweet the whole night, had made me dinner and was attentive and doting, etc. Of course, the substances came out and we enjoyed them. We were both quite intoxicated. I was lying on the couch in a stuporous haze and he handed me a Cadbury cream egg. Now, I have to tell you, if sex were a food, it'd be a Cadbury cream egg. I enjoyed it very much. Maybe a little too much. Then he started rubbing my feet. That did it, and we started fooling around. I was incredibly intoxicated and didn't know what I was doing, really. Even now I only have flashes of memory.

He led me into the bedroom and laid me down on the bed, then went away for a moment. He came back and climbed into bed with me and things continued... I ran my hand down his body and discovered that he had a condom on. My immediate reaction: "Oh my god, what the hell is that?" Talk about an instant jerk back into sobriety. Yikes! It's not that I'd never encountered a naked guy before, but I really had no clue what was going on and I was completely freaked out. I climbed out of bed and curled up in a corner on the floor. The next morning I got dressed and left really early. We haven't really had a conversation since then. Every time he sees me he looks at me really funny. I'm now known around the SFE house as "that girl who's scared of sex." Way to go, me!

Sober:
It was Greek Week on campus this May. The biggest, most cut-throat event of the week is definitely the Lip Synch. In its slower days, my chapter had a reputation of doing things that the members considered "classy" and the rest of the Greek community considered "boring" and "prudish." My lovely little sisses, who were in charge of our Lip Synch this year, decided it was time to change all that. So, we wound up doing "College Girls are Easy." I'd never heard that song before; I'm more of a classic rock chick. I was a little shocked when they played it, and even more so when they said they wanted each of us to be one of the characters in the song. Well, one of them is a girl named Debby whose thing is that she "liked to do it like a bunny." They'd gotten a Playboy Bunny costume from somewhere and I was the one who best fit into it, so guess who was nominated. I don't know what I was on at the time, but I agreed to do it.

When the big day rolled around, I was still a little apprehensive, but I'd agreed to do it, so what could I do? That night I had to work, but my boss agreed to give me a little bit of time off. I could go for just as much time as it took to actually do the thing and then I had to go back to work. I asked if I could go back to my dorm and change out of my costume, but the boss insisted that we were really short-staffed that night and she really needed me. How bad could it really be? She wasn't going to be there anyway, just the student supervisor. It was either that or not participate at all, so I agreed to her terms. Now I work for the school's development office, calling alumni, so it doesn't really matter what I look like at work. Nobody's going to ask me what I'm wearing (at least I hope not!) and I'm not going to share. So that didn't matter.

I went over to the Union, we did our thing (much to the shock of every other Greek on campus-- Kappa comes out of its shell!), and then I made my exit and took off for work. I got a little good-natured teasing from my co-workers, but they did take a "serious" poll which decided that I should leave the bunny ears on because without them, people might not see the tail and just think that I often went around dressed like a slut. Made sense to me, so I left them on. Things went fine until I left to walk home. The building where I work is right next door to the one in which I live, so I thought I'd be okay. But...

I'd neglected to remember that it was also the night on which the Founder's Club, those alumni and friends who give $1,000+ to the University each year, has a big banquet with the school Trustees and certain student reps. That dinner was held in the commons on the ground floor of my dorm, and I left work for home just as it was breaking up. In the 50 yards between work and the staircase leading up to my floor, I encountered:

1) Several Trustees, old men, who said something like "Oh, so you're the entertainment. Well, you're late!"

2) The Dean and Assistant Dean of the Conservatory of Music, the orchestra director, choir director, and my music history professor;

3) My boss, who (after she finished laughing) apologized for not letting me go change before work;

4) Her boss, the head of a student/faculty task force of which I am a member;

5) Her boss, the VP for Development (flamingly gay), who to this day calls me "bunny" and told everybody else in that department about what I was wearing that night;

6) His boss, the University President, who shook my hand while trying to keep a straight face and asked me politely how the Lip Synch had gone;

7) The parents of one of my best friends (I'd had no idea they were Founders Club members), who are also very good friends with my parents and whom I had to swear to secrecy so that this didn't get back to my mom; and

8) The guy I had a crush on and his mother! I was so shocked about this last one. I knew his mom was Founders Club, but they're from San Francisco and I didn't think she'd be flying all the way out to Wisconsin just for this dinner. I had to stand there and make polite conversation with this woman so that she didn't think there was a crazy slut stalking her son. He's a FDQ and managed to explain to her about the evening's events, but she was still a little taken aback (though too proper to admit anything). He's rather a proper guy himself and I thought he'd be humiliated to have me show up like this in front of his mother. I was completely prepared to understand if he never wanted to talk to me again. Well, later that night he called me and asked me to come over. I showed up wearing shorts and a t-shirt and he said, "Oh, darn, you changed!" To top it, two nights later I met his mom again after an orchestra concert. I reintroduced myself and she said something like, "Oh, did I meet you in Cam's history class yesterday?" I had to say, "Uh, no ma'am, I was the one on Thursday night in the bunny suit." Again, she managed to maintain her composure. Way to go, mom!

Just call me Bridgit Jones... The most embarassing thing about that one was definitely that I was completely sober at the time. I'm still known as the "bunny girl" around campus and at work. Apparently some of the Trustees even asked my boss if I could come to the next dinner dressed like that. Ick...