[twinstars]

Hi,

I think things CAN work out for you two, but it may take a long time until things feel normal again. It depends on how much you both value the friendship. If you both care, it will make it a lot easier to get back to normal. What do you mean he's been treating you badly after the fact? How exactly does he act? I'm sure the poor guy is just confused and doesn't know how he's even supposed to treat you. Especially considering his inexperience. That you had sex may seem like a medium-to-big deal to you, but it's huge to him. He doesn't have much perspective about the situation the way you probably do.

He may be cold towards you because he is embarassed, or because he doesn't want you to "get the wrong idea" that sex means you're going to start dating or anything. Not that you would assume that, but who knows....

I've been in a sort of similar situation with a good guy friend. We had been close as friends for more than a year at college before he asked me out and we started hanging out even more than before, and slowly started hooking up with each other. Eventually we were having sex. Neither of us was a virgin but we were both fairly "low mileage." Once "it" was over with, it took months and months before things started to seem kind of back to normal with our friendship. I'm talking about a "relationship" that happened in Sept/October, and things were finally OK again in May. I can't even begin to explain how things got to be OK again. I don't understand it myself, it just feels like by some strange twist of fate we can be just friends from now on. Somehow I stopped liking him the way I did when we were together. Of course the frienship is kind of different than it was before all the sex. But I guess it's what works for us now. I guess the point of my story here is that Yes, it can work out, it just takes time, and persistence, and mutual interest in making things OK again.