Eclipse:
I agree with you that many sorority members look askance at younger unmarried mothers joining their organizations. I have VERY mixed feelings about it myself, that's why I urged the young lady to think long and hard about making such a commitment.
I do think that whether we want to admit it or not, we as sorority members give tacit approval to single motherhood by extending membership to unmarried mothers, ESPECIALLY on the undergraduate level. How do we tell our young mentees to avoid early motherhood when many of our own members have CHOSEN that route? It seems contradictory. And what's this about children at greek parties and step shows? WHY????????????????????? Call a babysitter!!! If you can't get one, then realize that's part of the price of CHOOSING to have a child while still young and single.
At one time, participation in debutante cotillions, sororities, and the like was considered the reward for girls who had stayed on the straight and narrow. If these activities are now open to those who CHOSE not to wait until marriage to have kids, what message does that send to young girls contemplating the same?
On the other hand, I can't judge someone for the choices they made, as I too have fallen short of the glory of God. However, women should realize that when they affiliate with an organization, they (the individual) become synonomous with the organization, and in fact they ARE the organization to most folks who come in contact with them. To answer your second question, Left Out??, I don't think I would vote positively on a young, single undergraduate mother. I would advise her to finish her studies, raise her child/children ('Oh Lawd' on the 25-year-old with three of 'em!!!), establish her career, and try at the graduate level.
Just my thoughts...
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