Quote:
Originally posted by KSig RC
Why would someone feel 'cheap' or lose 'self-respect' after a one-night stand?
Chances are, this would only occur if the person looked for more out of the hookup than what it was. Also likely would be fear of being labelled a 'slut', which is a strong fear for most women.
It would seem to me that damasa's reasons make sense for him, to my mind, and maybe I can even see where h2oot is coming from (well, maybe) - the difference is, blaine is saying what he feels and why he does what he does, while h2oot appears to be making a value judgement on someone else based upon her particular feelings - please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just trying to interpret "Barf".
Either way - I'm curious to know: why is there no way that a person (specifically, you) could be attracted to someone in a purely sexual way, and simply desire sexual gratification from them, for one night?
It seems to me that enjoyment of the moment could be attained, if one could get past any hang-ups surrounding sexuality (assuming safety issues are addressed, etc) - but that's a male point of view. What am I not seeing here? ie what's the other point of view?
-RC
--PS - damasa, bad pun buddy - I loved it
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Hon, that's a TOTAL guy response! I mean, yeah, of course, guy's don't mind one night stands... they get to brag about it to all their friends afterwards (just like the Pike's just demonstrated). But, to girls, it's forbidden. It's one of those things that, even if a girl only has ONE one-night stand, she's looked down upon as a "slut." And I hate, hate, HATE when guys get girls drunk on PURPOSE to have her sleep with them.
I honestly don't see anything wrong with casual sex... for people who agree both ways that they want it. It's not something that I want to go around just doing, like it's nothing, but if you want to, that's your business. I've only been in love once, and we didn't have sex. Not because we were both virgins, waiting until marriage, but because we loved each other so much that sex wasn't one of our top priorities... stuff like getting to know each other, meeting each other's parents, and going out on actual dates were. I think if we hadn't broken up when we did, eventually we would have had sex, but we just had so many things that we wanted to do, first.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but I don't want the next time I have sex to be this drunken f***, rather a great experience with someone that I really care about, who I know will call me the next day, and who I know everything will be all right afterwards.
Here's my other thing:
I really don't want to sound like I have a big head or anything, but I AM good-looking. I go into bars, and I turn heads. So many people get mad at me because I don't have a boyfriend (and complain about not having a boyfriend), yet I have offers all of the time. But, this isn't necessarily a good thing. I get hit on... a LOT. I was set up to my formal with a Catholic virgin because I told people that for once I wanted a date who wasn't gonna pull the whole "I want you bad, baby" lines. My semi-formal date told a bunch of the guys who went with us that he WAS going to hook up with me by the end of the night. I get sick of being treated like crap. And, honestly, do guys think they're gonna get ANYWHERE by hanging out of a car window and yelling at me? Please!!
I've had guy friends (non-greeks) tell me that I need to just stop dating fraternity guys. Unfortunately, fraternity guys are very much my type. I love croakie- and Reef-wearing, beer out of koozi-drinking, long, dark-haired guys. And I love the guys who go for me: A girl who shows up to Carolina Cup or a football game in my tube dress and J. Crew sunglasses, but can kick butt on a tug-of-rope team or building houses for Habitat for Humanity and raising money for the blind.
I swear, I'm not a prude by any means. I go out, have drinks, and date a lot. But I also have high standards. And, to me, high standards isn't sleeping with the first guy who gets me drunk in a bar. The thing is, anyone can get a girl drunk and sleep with her, but it takes a real man to get a woman into bed by using his personality, looks, and charm.