[dekeguy]

When I was on Active Duty after graduation a couple of the guys I hung around with were West Pointers. They told me that they had a very simple rule that was strictly enforced by the cadets themselves. The rule was, "shall not lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate those that do". That is very close to our chapter's gentleman's code which was a sort of unwritten obligation that we talk straight, deal with others in a fair and upright way, and that we respected the boundaries of others space which included their stuff. As pledges we were told that the brothers assumed that we were gentlemen and lived by gentlemen's rules, but to make sure we were all reading from the same sheet of music we were reminded that if someone asks you a direct question you give a direct answer in reply, that it was OK to ask for help but you had to give credit where credit was due, and that you didn't mess with anyone else's stuff except as a prank or joke and then you had to square it up with them afterwards. Play hard but play fair was the general idea.
My Grandfather told me that there was one exception to the rule against lieing. He said that it may sound really old fashioned but that all things considered if you were going to use words like "gentlemen" and "codes of honor" then the old rules still applied. The one exception was that a gentleman could not lie except to protect the reputation of a lady. It may not be PC but I see where he was coming from and I think he had a good point. As my sister likes to say, "the double standard is alive and well and don't kid yourself, it has teeth to bite you with".
My dad said that when he was in school the Chaplain, who he described as a "wise old clergyman" used to define a lie as "the deliberate witholding of information from one who is entitled to receive it". That is an interesting slant and raises some thoughts in my mind. Sometimes the honorable answer might not be the most truthful one. On the other side of the coin, those West Pointers I mentioned earlier said that if you are careful to apply the code in small things it becomes an ingrained habit and you instinctively do the right thing when faced with a tough choice.
All of this makes pretty good sense to me. Anybody have any thoughts to add?