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ITs funny, I thought about this stuff as chapter President and even had some nice letters printed up, but nothing came of it.
However, I'll share it with you anyway.
Its been a while but they went something like this:
General beginning:
Dear sir or Madam,
I would like to take a moment and express how deepy troubled we are that you were offended by our [insert theme here].
Specific theme references
Pimps and Hoes . . . .
We would like to stress that we meant no disrespect to those in the occupations of pimps and hoes, and a true spirit of egalitarianism we are happy for you in your chosen career choices.
In fact, our reference was an artistic one based on a common theme portrayed in 70's type shows such as Shaft . . .
White Trash . . .
. . . no offense was meant towards anyone that considers themselves to be Trailer Park White Trash and no aspersions were meant againt people that hail from rural backgrounds, low socio economic status, tacky dress sense, and believe that guest appearances on Jerry Springer make them into a celebrity. (Author's note: Take your medication . . . and you will stop having all these wierd ass problems)
Ghetto parties . . .
. . . we intended no reference to people that grow up believing that being born in South Central LA (Compton) makes you automatically hard core and cool; think that dealing drugs is the end all proffession; idolize people that have criminal records; and like to lie about where they come from to make it seem as if they were poorer and from a harder core neighborhood (Author's note: I actually know people that do this).
In fact we were just making a parody of MTV's tendency to take kids from suburbia, give them jail house clothing, goatees, body jewelry, heavy but often dated slang, and pay them lots of money to be examples for all the other wannabee gangsters living fairly well off lives.
The ending:
Thank you for taking the time to read our explanation and direct further inquiries to kiss my ass (well insert contact info here lol).
Sincerely,
James
President
Chapter Kappa Sigma
Feel free to use this as a basis to your own apology letters.
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