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Originally Posted by thetalady
I do not care WHAT kind of an organization it is, when you get a lot of people who are invested & passionate about the work to be done, there will ALWAYS be politics. Doesn't even have to be a bunch of women, although the hormones, or lack thereof, can complicate things even more.  |
YES. This is just another example of Greek stuff being a microcosm of life stuff. VikingFan - the concerns you're describing could easily happen in any other kind of organization, and especially in volunteer-led ones.
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Originally Posted by VikingFan
I was recommended to organize events for the younger alum group. However, those positions were elected less than a year ago (two year terms) and they don’t do anything, and I was told that I can’t plan anything official (lest I step on the officer’s toes). The advisory board is made up of a group of youngish alumnae who were all active together, and are very cliquey.
I have tried incredibly hard to be the best member I can. Attending everything possible, sending cards to congratulate the chapter on pledging/initiation, still making sure to keep my distance from the actives so it doesn’t look like I’m hanging on. All I want to do is be able to be active member. I still feel like I am on the outside, like I am being kept at a distance. When I was active, the alum always said that once you are an alumna, age/popularity/cliques don’t matter. Not quite sure how they arrived at that.
I guess my questions are: is this alumnae politics thing a normal situation? Should I try to plan events anyways? Or should I not bother to try and do anything with the organization, and just “move on”, so-to-speak? I never thought that I would be at this point, but I have felt like I am on the outside looking in for the entire time I have been in the organization, because I haven’t been “in” with the “right” people.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VikingFan
I spoke to the president of the group who said that I couldn't really plan anything, henceforth the disconnect I am facing
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Originally Posted by VikingFan
I guess that answers my questions then: the younger alum group that I would be in doesn't have any opportunities for me to take part in. I think perhaps another type of organization would be a better fit right now!
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I empathize with what you're going through, and I think we've all been there. In undergrad, I wasn't elected to the chapter position I wanted really badly. In high school, I didn't get a senior recognition honor that I thought I was a shoe-in for. Sometimes I'm not looped into all the outings that business school classmates are going to.
All of these things can really easily trigger internal defensive feelings, and maybe a little bit of victim complex. I think that's what you're feeling right now. The problem is that once you allow yourself to start thinking "they don't appreciate me", you start to act out in a way that nobody really likes: either aloof or overly clingy, defensive, overly sensitive.
You're describing opportunities that are LEADERSHIP opportunities. SigmaDiva already mentioned that you often need to work your way up. OF COURSE the president of the alumnae chapter told you that you can't plan things, because that's another member's job. How would you feel if you were the social activities chair and some brand new member of your chapter got tapped to plan a social activity without your input? That'd be crummy and inappropriate.
What I don't get is why you haven't mentioned anything about ATTENDING events. It sounds like your definition of involvement is being in charge of something. What kinds of activities are open for you to participate in? What does the chapter do? How often do they meet? Do they need help with something totally different - like phone banking alumnae or helping write up awards applications?
In my experience, volunteer-run organizations like these have plenty of opportunities to help out, but it has to be on their terms. They don't have the capacity to add on events or programming at the whim of a new member who volunteers to do it.
I would suggest first changing your perspective a little bit. We often face interpersonal roadblocks that seem really frustrating, and you need to realize that if you don't like it, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to change your approach until you find one that gets the desired response. This is a deep exercise in self-awareness, and one we talk about in the recruitment forums all the time.
It's possible you might need to back off a bit and explore other opportunities. Sometimes your history of interaction with a group becomes too complicated and clouded, and you really do start to get some resistance that a true newcomer would not get.
It's also possible that you just need to be more open about the way you get involved. Attend events, and volunteer to help when it's solicited.