Quote:
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06
Being interested in your kids' lives, guiding them through school, and ensuring that they become productive members of society is different than calling them 10 times a day, sending out Amber alerts when they don't respond, and accompanying them on job interviews.
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I fully agree with you! My oldest went to school across country. She and I discussed what was happening without my calling her daily (she usually called me since she knew when she was not in class, studying or off with friends). She graduated with honors, was active on campus and is now leading a VERY productive life. I was not at any of her interviews, she called me and told me when she got a job, I just happened to be visiting her when she received her latest fantastic promotion. My younger one has be part of the special education process from the time he was 15 months old. Today he is a college senior (Yeah, no more tuition payments). He has Asperger's Syndrome on top of the developmental issues he had to over come. I freaked when he went to school 12 hours from here with no family/relatives around should he have an Asperger's break down. I can officially say, we cut the cord, he is doing fantastic. He is involved-- President of the Housing Council and Secretary of the Communication Club. My ex and I paid for both of our kids' education, we were on my son's case when his first semester grades were not very good, BUT neither of us are running their lives, neither of us call a zillion times a day (my son texts both of us regularly, my daughter will call one or the other of us while she is walking home from the train after work just to fill the time).
Cutting the cord does not mean you are not interested. Just because you pay the bills does not mean they can't live their own lives. Back in the olden days when I was in school, we had a sister whose parents helicoptered her (long before there were helicopter parents). They would call the house regularly (no cell phones in those days, no way to GPS track your kid). One night girl did not come home. Parents called the house every hour on the hour all night waking up everyone. We handled the situation through Standards Board, but we were all aggravated by the situation although we knew she did it because she felt she was an adult, a college junior, and was tired of her parents trying to account for every minute of her day. Same parents could not bring her back to school after one of the breaks so let her have the car until the next break. They checked the odometer before she left, knew the exact mileage to the school and back and told her she was not allowed to drive the car except to get to the school and home. Not to be deterred, she disconnected the odometer until it was time to go home. College kids know how to get around parents! Time to let them grow up.
DaffyKD