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Originally Posted by Iu mom
Sorry for what may be a long first post....my daughter was a casualty of yesterday's bid day... In high school she was Homecoming court and prom princess as well as varsity dance captain and class secretary- and with a friend from home created an foundation that single handedly raised a quarter of a million dollars for a cancer family center after her friends dad passed from a brain tumor... She got a 3.5 gpa first semester at IU and participated at several campus philanthropic events- here's the thing ..she's a kinesiology AND dance major- as a dance major she was in a show during 12 party so prior to even 21 party she had to indicate that she had one major rehearsal for the show and the actual Saturday show...conflict forms and she Hoped not to be penalized but in reading here and her ONLY other friend that did NOT get a bid was a dancer too- so? What am I to think as her mom?
She was told at a house during 3 she was a perfect fit. During 12 another house said she felt like she was a sister already and get this she's a legacy at another house and wasn't asked to 3 party. My daughter had an open mind and comes from a family that is still involved in their greek organizations - she is registered for informal but I know it's not going to happen because no house will have not have met quota. She would love to get a "snap" bid but said how would they know she exists to want to give her one... We knew the process was a tough one which is why she worked her butt off to get a great gpa and be involved on campus in the fall. If any of you are in houses and have a snap bid to give - she's an awesome candidate. She has spent her life developing and working with philanthropies in fact her life goal is dance therapy to help girls who have to deal with emotional and physical issues. But the dancer thing still doesn't seem to make sense .... Thanks for listening and congrats to all those that were successful!
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Mom, it sounds like all the chapters missed out on an exceptional young woman. After discounting the wacko way recruitment is done at IU, there are some factors that might have occurred that kept your daughter from receiving a bid. First would probably be the parties that she missed. Being excused from those parties did not mean that she would get a pass on to the next round of parties, especially if the next round is prefs. Being excused only meant that she would not be automatically dismissed from recruitment, like someone would who had overslept and missed a party. In my experience as an advisor, missing those parties, missing that opportunity to wow the sorority members, can really hurt a PNM.
Another factor is what I call the Russian roulette factor. While the sororities are whittling down their invitation lists, the PNMs are too. Sometimes there is smooth sailing, and the chapters the PNM is invited to return to match perfectly with her list. Often times it doesn't work out as well. Then you have a PNM who may have a full list of invitations, but only really likes one or two out of her returns. Then too, she might not have received the maximum number of invitations,and that reduces her choices going in to the next round.
The position the PNM appears on the chapter's invitation list, or when the chapter chooses not to invite her back, factors in to what invitations she receives. Her placement of the sororities she would like to return to, also factors in. The computer is trying to match the PNMs top choices with the sorority's list. If the PNM placed ABC sorority as her first choice, but ABC either didn't invite her back, or she was at the bottom of the list, she will not be going back to ABC. The computer would then go to her #2 choice and the same process would happen all over again. Hopefully she would be high on the list of #2 so there would be a match. If not, the computer continues on until it does have as many matches as it can give the PNM.
One more thing I can think of off the top of my head is knowing girls in the sororities. Even if she was each of her hostesses rush crush, if there were PNMs that were BFFs with a chapter member, those chapter members are going to be pushing for their hometown friend/schoolmate to be asked back. BFF might have spent several weekends at the sorority house with her sorority member friend.I am sure that the members who told your daughter that they just loved her and that they could really see her as an ABC were sincere. They probably truly felt what they were saying. But they have an entire chapter to convince and that is often difficult if few people know her. Then too, I would imagine that some majors that take up an extraordinary amount of non-class time, might have few women receiving bids, because the sorority members understand that those majors will be missing many sorority events.
I would urge your daughter to go find out what Delta Phi Epsilon has to offer. Hopefully there would be some time that she could schedule an interview. Ordinarily a colonizing sorority has many, many time slots to accommodate everyones busy schedules.