Sorry for the long post / vent...
After hearing horror stories from other parents and thoroughly reading this and other forums, I thought my daughter and I were both prepared for the hell that is Sorority Recruitment, and especially IU Sorority Recruitment (even without the weather-induced schedule changes). She knew she would need to keep an open mind, and she knew that the process would likely end up in disappointment.
But when I talked to her last night she was so excited and so positive about how things went at 12-party, and I couldn't help getting excited for her, and I encouraged her excitement. She told me details of conversations and it sounded like she had really made a deep connection in a short amount of time - in one conversation both she and the Active teared up over a common bond they discussed. At another sorority, as she was leaving the Active said "we really hope you will consider us".
Then came the phone call this morning - hysterical sobs. Her situation is a bit different from most of the posts this morning - she did get matched with one sorority she really liked, but we both know that she has about a 0.01% chance of actually getting a bid from them (having to do with religion
). The other matches were her bottom two. We both thought we were prepared for this, but yesterday was just so positive that she got her hopes up for her two favorite sororities (she's a legacy at both), so the disappointment this morning was huge. I know, I know, we were warned. It's to be expected. It's just so darn hard :,( She says she will keep an open mind about one of the bottom two, but the other one she just felt no connection with anyone she talked to. I encouraged her to keep an open mind about all three.
Which brings me to a question… I've seen many suggestions that the girls should list all of their pref round chapters on their MRABA. But isn't that silly if you just didn't feel any connection to one or two of the sororities? I guess that's up to each PNM to decide - whether being in any sorority is better than no sorority. And then there's the DPhiE colonization that complicates things. The expansion is positive and exciting, but many girls will have a tough choice on Tuesday - do I accept a bid from a sorority where I don't feel that "connection" or do I take my chances with DPhiE? I know this will be a factor in my daughters decision and I have no idea which way she'll go.
My daughter is lucky to have a very sweet roommate. When she called me sobbing this morning, I could hear her roommate in the background, consoling her. But her roommate, who was going through recruitment just for the experience and didn't plan to join a sorority, got matched with two of her favorites. I can picture the scene on Tuesday night. I think you know what I'm talking about...
I did read some of your posts to her this morning, and I think they made her feel a bit better. Thank you for that! She pulled herself together and hopefully was able to get rid of the puffy eyes before her first party.
I really can't complain about the last-minute change in the recruitment schedule. They had to make a decision very quickly about how to handle the weather situation, and I don't think there were any good options. It definitely was grueling and far from ideal, but I don't see how it would give one PNM an advantage over another. I really can't complain about how sorority recruitment works in general - it is a hard, ego-crushing process at any university. But I CAN complain about IU's unique bed-quota system. It is a blemish on an otherwise outstanding university. I know it can't be changed overnight, but I really wish the chapters would consider at least gradually increasing their pledge class sizes and allowing more live-outs. I think the benefits would FAR outweigh the disadvantages for everyone.
And to the sorority where the Active said "we really hope you will consider us" and then didn't ask her back, that bothers me - why would they say that when they don't intend to consider you?
Thanks for listening to my vent
