[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by yippiechio

To preface this, I received some comments when I posted before that I shouldn't have chi o in my username unless I am a member. I accepted my bid so I'm assuming it's ok now... please correct me if I'm wrong

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I was so excited that Chi Omega was colonizing at my school. The alumni in charge of recruitment were a lot like me, very "sorority girl" and girly. I made great connections with them and I knew Chi O would be a great fit for me.

I was completely set on pledging and so incredibly excited until the colony version of pref night, when I actually met and talked to other PNMs. Most of the girls were extremely odd. There were a few that I connected with, but if I had a dollar for every girl who dressed in ripped jeans (dress code was DRESSY), said "I never wear makeup," or "I don't like socializing," I'd have about $50. I won't go into the attractiveness of everyone... because I'd get a lot of hate and I think you get the point.

I know all of that sounds incredibly superficial, but I will be the first to admit that I want really fun and friendly sisters who care about their appearance and are willing to embrace the traditions that come with being in a sorority. A lot of these girls didn't seem to care a whole lot, but many said they would accept their bid if they got it. The part I really didn't like is how the alumni made it sound like everyone was going to get a bid... I agree that "Democratic rather than exclusive" is important, but it seems a little impersonal to let anyone that has a couple grand to drop join.

I know there will be at least a few girls who I will really identify with, but it's unsettling that I was SO onboard with the whole process until pref night. A lot of girls say that bid day was the best day of their lives, and all I'm feeling is lukewarm. I accepted my bid because I want to keep an open mind and I do really want to make this work.

I've been thinking about this all day- I've never really had friends who didn't care about superficial things and money... and it scares me to get away from that, even though deep down I'd rather have REAL friends/sisters who don't care what you do/who you're friends are/what you're wearing.

Whew that was long! If anyone has a similar experience or any advice to share it would be greatly appreciated. This was pretty much a confused venting sesh... and I'm genuinely sorry if I am offending anyone here, it's just my honest feelings.

College is a time for personal growth. You wrote that you have never had friends that didn't care about superficial things and money. Maybe this is a good time to expand your friendship base. I think your writing makes your feelings sound worse than they really are. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are just a normal, young person who is hesitant about making a commitment without some guarantee of the result. I think it is absolutely normal to be cautious about pledging a group that seems very different from you. Colonies often have an identity problem, because they are the only sorority new members who are not chosen from the chapter, so they often encompass a lot of different "types" and lack a cohesive personality until they get going and have a few recruitments under their belt.

I would think long and hard about giving up your bid. You have a while until initiation/installation. Give it a chance. Maybe you can be a good example of taking care of your appearance and pushing a positive image for your sorority. Maybe your colony sisters can be a good example to you to let go of such an attachment to the superficial. Anyone who says the superficial doesn't matter at all is lying, but certainly it can be over emphasized. Maybe your colony will be able to strike a good balance, and maybe you can help make that happen. If you go into this thinking you are better than the other colony members, this will never work. Don't think of it as needing to "change" your new sisters. Think of it as learning from each other.