You just have to admit to yourself that your sexual technique was lacking . . . and that the first time the alcohol and horniness made up for it.
Seriously though, it sounds like you guys went for the gold with insufficient foreplay. So when you have little real rapport and not much built up sexual tension, its important to really work the pre game angle.
Guys, I can't stress enough the all important nature of rapidly escalating intense foreplay.
Also a couple of glasses of wine first may have been a good idea.
You might want a rematch though . . . I would
