FYI - I don't know what area you're in, but I know that the alumnae Panhellenic close to my town has informational meetings for PNMs to meet alumnae and get general info about sororities. I assume these are mainly geared toward incoming freshmen, but do a Google search or go to npcwomen.org to see if there's one in your area. Do the legwork and searching yourself, call numbers if you find them, etc. There's SO MUCH helpful info in threads that already exist here; people like adpiucf and some other wonderful, involved alumnae of different orgs have gone through a lot of effort to offer advice and gather it in one location. They've done a lot of the work on your research for you already, now make the effort and have the initiative to read it and follow the advice.
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=54403
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=112718
If these threads "don't help," then I've got nothing.