You need to figure out exactly what's going on. Based on your other posts (and on your FB page), you're in the process now of being approved by the school, or have just gotten approval. Is the IFC member speaking on behalf of the school? On behalf of IFC? Saying what he thinks ought to happen? Just confused?
Speaking of confusion:
I'm a little confused. This sounds like you see yourself as something other than a social GLO, but in your earlier posts, you said:
It sounds to me like you are founding a social, co-ed fraternity that will compete with (in terms of rush) the IFC fraternities on your campus and seek to be viewed as comperable. Under those circumstances, it seems to me to be quite reasonable to think you should belong to the IFC.
Granted, IFCs are typically mostly made up of fraterniities that belong to the
NIC, but that is not always the case. One of the national fraternities on your campus (and in its IFC) is not a member of the NIC or, so far as I know, of any other umbrella conference. My fraternity is not a member of the NIC but is part of the IFC on many campuses.
Nor is the co-ed aspect necessarily determinative. There are (NIC) fraternities that allow their chapters to be co-ed, and so far as I know, those chapters are usually if not always IFC members.
Just based on your posts, it sounds like maybe you need to be clear (in your own minds and with your Greek Life office) about exactly what kind of organization you'll be and how you'll fit in with the rest of the campus, and talk with your GL office about what that means IFC-wise.