[jenidallas]

I ended up deciding to be a sophomore transfer to a large state school that had a chapter. I also dropped down to mostly correspondence classes for the semester so I could start working full time and saving money since I was losing my full ride. Roommate and pageant girl also both transferred after our freshman year, both to schools without chapters so our year together was their only time in Greek life.

I got to the new school (which I loved immediately and still do to this day) but the chapter was not at ALL like it had been at my first school. They were not a strong chapter and the women were very different than my old chapter. I hedged on whether or not I wanted to affiliate, listening a lot to other girls (outside the chapter) and to men (both Greek and non-Greek). I was kind of snotty about it too which I now regret – at 19, I had the attitude that the sorority was about the reputation or ranking on campus. I had friends from back home in most of the other chapters but not my own and began to think that I’d made a huge mistake to not wait and go through recruitment there.

I dragged my feet on declaring my intention to go through affiliation - but those sisters persisted and let me know they liked me anyway because I WAS a sister. Their continued acts of sisterhood (which included visiting me in the hospital when I had a bad car accident a few weeks into school) and unwavering friendship helped me realize that sisterhood is not about aspiring to be someone else – it’s about being the best version of yourself. At the end of the day, my then-boyfriend (a member of a very popular house on campus) is the one who pushed me over the edge – he reminded me that college would be SO much better if I was in ANY chapter and participating than if I were standing on the sidelines just watching everyone else. So very true.

I affiliated and made several wonderful friends. The chapter helped that process along by pairing me with the latest new member class and including me on all their “extra” activities. I even got an “adopted big” so I could be folded into the chapter’s “families”. I went on to serve the chapter in various leadership positions and was so proud to see my chapter continue to grow while I was there. I am still in regular contact with probably 40 sisters who I shared time with while on campus. I also am happy to note that I went back to dressing the way I liked to dress and marching to the beat of my own drummer – and my sisters supported me there too.

Of course, all this retro thought leads to a lot of revelations and discoveries about who I am today. Would 41 year old me go through recruitment with the same eyes she did at 18? No. And if not, I might not be a Gamma Phi Beta today.

I believe I was led to the sisterhood where I belong… the one that grew with me and that I never outgrew. Sometimes there really is a master plan and I do believe that we end up where we ultimately belong and that sometimes it takes time for it to become that lifelong love affair.

I also firmly believe that choosing a sorority should not be an aspirational thing – joining the blonde haired cheerleader sorority will not turn you in to that if you are not that person. I think I love the most that my sorority allowed me to be who I was especially at my second school which is the chapter where I spent all my initiated time.