[MTSUGURL]

Expecting your big sis or other "older" members in the sorority to be responsible for your education and decisions is a heck of a lot of pressure and high expectations to put on 19-22 year old girls, don't you think? Did you ever consider asking your big sis or other sisters for help or suggestions in how they managed to party and maintain their grades? I'm sorry that you felt like just "another girl to party with" and didn't feel encouraged to study and focus on your academics, but to be honest, you can find that sort of environment anywhere in college. I hope for your sake that you have been able to find a balance and some friends that do make you feel encouraged, but even more so that you have become strong enough and disciplined enough in yourself that you can focus on important things even when someone is trying to sway you.

Your organization is bigger than your chapter. MUCH bigger. Focus on school, meet people and make new friends, find other activities. I would encourage you to get to know some of the wonderful women on this site that are involved alumnae of their organizations and have been for several years. They are great examples of lifelong membership which is what you pursued, were offered and accepted. I'm sorry you regret your commitment, but you still made the commitment and there is still a lot that you could learn (and enjoy) from your sisters and your organization. You could also give a lot back to your sisters in the future by encouraging young women to strive for academic excellence.

My advice is, if you don't feel connected to your ritual, maybe reach out if there's a chapter nearby to be of service?