[DrPhil]

Sounds like an NPHC, LGLO, MCGLO, etc.

NPC alumnae tend not to use the language used in the OP.

I recommend logging off and figuring this out without a message board. You are not the first person to face such difficulties. You aren't the first person to figure it out without whining on the Internet about it. Research, contact people, and figure it out.

I say this because people who use Internet dramatics including a thread titled "I want out" need to learn there is a way to research and seek guidance for real life concerns minus the attention grabbing Internet dramatics.

Good luck!