Ugh. If this is about to become a thing, I am not on board with it. I haven't been invited to one of these, and I reeeeeeeally don't think I'd attend if I were. If this graduate already had a graduation party, she's had her chance to be feted on her way to college. If she didn't already have a graduation party, perhaps she should have had a graduation party (or should call this her graduation party)
I say you get gift-giving parties for:
- birthdays (and the less milestone-y the birthday, and the more often you have birthday parties, likely the smaller the gifts)
- graduations (generally high school and college)
- getting married (and each person gives one shower gift, even if invited to multiple showers)
- first baby (MAYBE second baby if the first kid is now, like, a teenager)
That's about it. In my opinion, there are many other life events where you certainly may host a celebration (and by "host," I mean you are expected to provide the food and drinks), but gifts aren't expected or customary. If someone wants to bring a bottle of wine to your housewarming party, that is lovely, but no one should feel obligated to go trawling through lists at Williams-Sonoma because you moved down the street.
Unfortunately, though, I seem to be in the minority on this one. Sigh.