Quote:
Originally Posted by thetalady
Very good points, ladies!! I will happily amend my advice  I agree that it is the PNM who expects her mom to do everything that bugs me. |
Self-management is the biggest skill my daughter said she learned her freshman year (and she still has a lot to learn...that's what growing up is all about). However, I also firmly believe in getting involved when the stakes are high and there aren't any "do overs." We have expertise we can use to help our daughters in this process.
Personally, I think the person who knows the potential rec writer is the one who should ask the favor/make the initial introduction. Then the process should be turned over to the PNM. In my daughter's case, I made the initial contact for several recs, then passed the phone to my daughter, or had her follow up when the PRW told me in a face-to-face conversation that she'd be happy to write one. Grandma even made one contact, and invited her friend and my daughter to lunch at her home so they could meet. Only in one case did my daughter make the initial contact, and this was because she knew the PRW personally (but so did Grandma). She later told Grandma at church that she was happy to write the rec for my daughter.
One of the calls really was a cold call...I knew through one of my sorority sisters that this PRW was very involved in her sorority, and I called her and used our mutual friend's name as an entree. She was excited to do it...she writes a lot of recs. Then I passed off the phone to generallygreek and they met for lunch (my daughter's treat). Frankly, the whole process was a good experience for building social skills.