[PinkConfession]

I don't know where to begin. It all started 4 years ago when I was a senior in high school. I became obsessed with Alpha Kappa Alpha and began studying up on it. All the women I looked up to (My grandmother, my Aunt, friends) were AKA's. I saw them doing volunteer work and staying "pretty" at the same time and I admired that. All of the K's I knew were smart, sophisticated and nice. I wanted to be apart of this. The more information I got the more obsessed I became. I found sacred items such as a badge I bought online, access to ritual books, secret passwords etc. I found out what the motto stood for. I even forged a fake badge after gaining access to the website and attended Boule. I was in deep. I felt like a fraud yet I still felt accomplished. I had put in my own personal work and didn't feel the need to actually go through with the proper procedures. By my second year of college I became less obsessed but still interested. I became friends with the AKA's and finally put in my bid. As I went through the rituals I felt horrible. Because I already knew. When I received my badge I felt like a creep because I already had one. I have finally gotten over my obsession but remain a financial member. I will never forget the many hours I spent reading about AKA and finding out secrets I should not have known yet. This is my anonymous confession.