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I usually do a lot of thinking, researching, asking, roleplay before the moment of decision even for relationships or social situations . . . but that doesn't really help you.
As far as what you are asking . . .
Most people never get the right answers because they don't ask the right questions, ask them in the wrong way, or ask advice from people that have no idea. Garbage in, garbage out.
So here are some hard fast guidelines for evaluating situations.
1. If you have been making most of the decisions in the situation yourself, and haven't gotten anywhere or are very unhappy, its time to go get help from others.
2. If you are very wishy washy and are always doing what others suggest and are unhappy and feel trapped, its time to lock these people out of your life, and make some of your own decisions. And find some new advisors!
3. Make you sure you have at least one person in your life that knows all your shit and won't put up with it.
We all have or should have, one of these friends. They aren't very sensitive, but they are almost always right. They can spot our bullshit a mile a way and we are almost afraid to give them the standard bull because we know they will see through it.
Sensitive suportive friends are a dime a dozen. In therapy they call them "enablers" and they are the people that allow and encourage us to fuck up our lives (some people call them true friends lol).
Seriously folks, our sensitive supportive friends are usually the ones that are telling us things will be all right ,while handing us the lunch they made, and assisting us on to the train to the death camp.
Most of the time we all need the kind of mean person that tells us that people are using us, we are heading towards tragedy, gives us a twinkie, 10 dollars, a gun and tells us to get the fuck out of Dodge!
Here are some things to beware of:
1. Don't be "that friend". We all have had one, they call all the time looking to vent about a situation that they have little intention of changing. They have similar characteristics. They tend to ask advice looking for the answer they want. And will present the situation to get that answer or keep retelling it and asking you till you answer the way the they want. (Like I should really stay and try and work it out with my BF/GF). And if you don't tell them what they want to hear, they will keep asking others till they hear the answer that allows them to stay miserable.
More to follow but I need to head to work . . .
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