Quote:
Originally Posted by TEAtime
As an introvert, I understand exactly where you're coming from. But, as an introvert, there are also lots of things you've got to learn about social interactions. We're only getting your persective here, which is to be expected, but try to see things as your sisters may be experiencing the situation.
From what you posted, it's not obvious that they're dismissing you (although that's how it feels to you). It's not unusual for people to stop laughing or talking about a joke when someone not involved comes around; that doesn't mean they don't want you there.
No one's going to give you a chance; if you want something, go out and get it. I don't know what you plan to do after college, but it sounds like you're in the right place to learn how to build relationships and negotiate uncomfortable situations. Those are invaluable skills for surviving in the work force.
I wouldn't have responded to your message on FB. I might have even been offended that we've lived in the same space all this time, you haven't gotten to know me, and now you want to come stay with me for a few days (but you can't ask me to my face?). You're upset and that's valid. You had an expectation of what sisterhood would look like (couch sharing), but maybe your sisters have other expectations (forming bonds?).
Try not to get too jaded. This situation is more about navigating social situations than it is about sororities, IMNSHO. Have you talked to your big about how you're feeling?
Good luck with finals! Exchange numbers with some of your sisters and keep in touch over the summer. Add Quiet or other books about introversion (with a focus on women) to your summer reading list. Come back in August ready to hit the ground running.
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Thank you for your reply, it really made me think. One thing though is that my expectations of a sorority really AREN'T couch-sharing. I do want to form bonds. It's just that meanwhile I found myself in this situation, where I could find virtually nobody else to help me, and literally my last resort was asking girls in my sorority who I admittedly don't know very well.
I just honestly assumed they would understand that it wasn't that I was deliberately using them, I thought they would see that I literally had no other options and was completely desperate. When you point it out like that I can see how different people could interpret it badly. And I just am so used to Facebook messaging and texting that I don't really think about whether or not it's appropriate. Do you think I should say something to the girls? Because now that you've pointed it out I'm starting to feel really awful and I don't want things to be awkward.