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Please just talk to someone. I can say at least you have a little or attend chapter events but that doesn't make the pain less, especially when you feel like an outsider inside the group. There are mean things people said when I was a potential member that I never forgot. Those girls graduated or whatever and don't think of me! I keep myself depressed focusing on past failures. Life isn't pretty and if you aren't liked you can't blame the person or yourself. This isn't a speech about embracing how you're dorky or weird. That sure won't make it better or change the past. I can say I learned a few things to better myself from mistakes and to strive for being liked for me, but the crucial message is to get out the feelings! Tell the people how you feel or it will always haunt you. I felt like I did something wrong and was a loser until I finally had the courage to speak up to my tormentor. I wasn't ready for a "fuck you" or even a "sorry" from the person so I blocked them on FB. It was just about getting out how I felt. I told the person it wasn't anyone's fault I was _____ but just that I needed the person to know how it made me feel. I don't wanna be accepted because I was stupid that night and it's who I am, just wanted that person to know they hurt me and I was hurt for awhile. What I mean is not everyone will like you and you can't say that people should be accepted for their quirks, that's not real life it's a happy ending in a movie. What you should know is that saying how you feel kinda solves it. The outcome will never change but you can lift that mental burden off your shoulders.
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