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To clarify, I've tried being social here. And things went south with my big and I knew no one else liked her anymore either (we stopped talking for personal issues, not because I knew no one liked her). I have worked so hard this year to make sure people don't see me as another version of her, because I don't want to be that person and I think that's how they saw me last year.
I used to hang out in our living room a lot and try to talk to the girls. However, I'm not down there all the time because I won't get homework done if I am. A few of the girls are usually really condescending to me. People claim that everyone in this house likes me, but I don't see how that's true if they're so condescending and if they don't invite me anywhere they're going. Anyway, I stopped hanging out downstairs because people give me shit all the time. I've mostly been trying to laugh it off, but then they think I'm okay with it and do it more. And I'm not okay with it. It actually really hurts.
All my friends freshman year joined this house. We all used to hang out every weekend. But now two of them are constantly going out and getting hammered (something I don't enjoy doing every weekend), one is always at the library, and one got absorbed into the group of girls that usually condescend to me. The last one is my roommate, and we were best friends last year. But I feel like we've been drifting apart. We never hang out outside of events, even though last year we hung out every weekend. Whenever I try to talk to her about my insecurities in our sorority, she doesn't say anything back. Saturday night when she came home, I tried to tell her that I felt excluded (and started to cry while doing so), and she just went to sleep.
So basically, I did try to make friends and be social and be... well, a sorority girl. But now I've never felt more alone. I don't even want to talk to PNMs during recruitment, because how am I supposed to sell them on something I'm thinking about leaving?
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