Quote:
Originally Posted by dmabes
hey guys i've been reading a bunch of those college break up posts the past couple weeks since its that time of year for graduation...
i talked with my girlfriend of almost 2 years the other night about what we are going to do for college, and it went good other than both of us getting emotional since its a hard topic for us. We decided to break up for college but remain close friends JUST IN CASE...
my problem is that now its like a time bomb in my head and heart. i still love her as a person and enjoy being around her, but its just not the same. knowing that we are going to break up is constantly on my mind and it is even more when i am with her. its a little painful actually. Its now the first of may and i graduate the 22nd. on june 26th-july26th i will be at a pre summer freshman course 6 hours away from my home town, so i will not be able to see her then. once i return, i have to leave again august 18th permanently for college.
Basically my question is, is should i end things before the summer course? i know that college kids will still be there, and rush parties will be going on so i dont want to "do anything stupid" if you know what i mean. she wants to wait till the end of summer, but i can already feel myself distancing away from her. i dont even know how to approach her about it because im afraid of the feeling of being single, even though i know it has to happen sometime this summer. thanks for readin
BTW: ive only noticed girls posting in this section, so i hope that this isn't the wrong area. i apologize if it is
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Never make a decision until you have to. Why? Because situations, and circumstances in the environment can, and sometimes do, change.
You've already feeling some conflict (you want to break up, she wants to wait-- you both are sad) because it's a premature, artificial decision. You call it a timebomb because you have (prematurely?) set the timer.
Besides this question of break up that you two introduced, nowhere in your post did you say that your basic feelings for each other had changed. That’s a problem.
What you’ve done is create a “solution” in search of a potential problem.
You're headed to college, a period of big change and discovery in your life. Your present relationship may become a casualty of that at some point -- or it may not. That's life.
Every relationship is unique, with its own strengths/weaknesses. You will find out about yours. I respect the "conflict" you're feeling becuase you're trying to prepare. But take what you two have built, and enjoy, as you presently find it. Life is littered with "less than," sub-standard relationships. Why would you ever trash one that's working? If it continues to nourish you NOW, stay in it.
If you/ she find yourself wanting out, because of distance, loneliness, interest in new people, whatever, then respect what you two had by ending it then.
Until that happens, you're needlessly sabbotoging (sp) something thats adding to the value of your life. You might want to rethink that.
I'm a guy.