Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin
So you change together and steer the relationship in a compatible direction. Relationships (long term ones anyway) take a lot of work and compromise, and if you disagree with that, I don't care how old you are, unless you marry someone who has zero ambition or goals for himself, then you're never going to find anyone to make you happy.
Yeah, you go through changes from 22-30 and trust me, after 30, you don't just suddenly arrive at a "this is me and always will be me" stage. You're always changing and the sooner you figure that out [and I mean you in the generic sense, not as in DBB], the sooner you'll be able to have a successful long term relationship.
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I'm not disagreeing with any of this; I think that if you find someone and you are certain that you two can work through anything together, there is nothing at all wrong with getting married. Heck, even it it ultimately doesn't work out, there can be a huge amount of value in this, for both parties.
I just also think there is value for some people in living alone while you make the big giant transition into adulthood, and the social norm that treats marriage as some type of end goal does a disservice to people who need more time to figure things out.
To put a finer point on what I said upthread, I didn't mean that all my friends who married in their 20's are getting divorced, I'm saying that of the ones who are getting divorced, most have admitted to having a feeling that it wasn't what they wanted at the time, but did what was expected of them.
I'm happily unmarried, but it's definitely a "different strokes for different folks" kinda thing; I just don't think that this Princeton woman should be coming in and trying to scare women into following a script that may not be right for everyone.