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Originally Posted by smiley1
Do you think it's going to look bad for me if I avoid all of the parties and just do the sisterhood stuff?
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YES. I know that for my sorority, we have four aims and "social development" is one of them. Like it or not, parties and formals are what passes for social development in college. You need to find a way to make them work for you.
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Originally Posted by smiley1
Since I pledged with a small group, the Fall girls have all had time to get to know each other really well and they are still just getting to know me. It won't be long before they figure out that it's not a coincidence that I bow out of every social activity by saying I have a paper or an exam or something.
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This is 1000% the wrong way to go about it. If you keep lying (and that's what it is, lying) about your reasons, pretty soon no one will believe a word that comes out of your mouth about anything. Not to mention that it completely contradicts your claims of not being judgmental - you're judging so much that you don't even want to be around people that drink. Just say "No thank you" and be done with it. Some of our most involved, most festive sisters were girls who didn't drink a lot or at all. You have to walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
And by the way, you can hang out with girls who are pregaming without drinking yourself.
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Can I keep dodging the social stuff and still be a decent sorority member?
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On paper? Yes, probably. But in practice, you will probably be quite unhappy and wondering why you're getting so little out of your sisterhood.
I enjoyed drinking in college, and I never in my life pressured anyone to drink. (More for me was my motto) If girls DO do that to you, it's not an alcohol issue, it's a trust and respect issue, and will probably manifest itself in other arenas, no matter how many parties you stay away from.