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Saturday February 5th 2000 – 9am Invitation pick up…
We could be invited back to three parties. I understood that if I was invited to a party, the sorority wanted me to be a member. I was nervous.
I picked up my envelope – I was invited back to two…
Martian Manhunter and…
…
Batman. I wasn’t terribly upset. I was rooting for MM, Batman and Superman, but I guess I wasn’t 100% Superman material, and you know what? I knew that. I fit SO much better with Batman and MM. I was comfortable with the women and I felt that I could bloom and grow in the environment created by the women most like me!
12:20 Report to Auditorium
Since I didn’t have a party until 1:30, I had to wait… nervously.
MM: I was walked in by Kathy – the sisters talked about their time in the chapter. There were tears and laughs and I was picturing myself with these women. I saw the other PNMs and felt that these could be my sisters. MM could be my home too.
As I left, Kathy left me with some closing thoughts…
Batman: A sister walked me into the room, again, there was talking about their lives in the sorority and how it has changed them. I looked around at the women and PNMs and wondered if this was home. I wanted to find a sorority home where I was comfortable, and was this it? As I was leaving, a Batman sister also left me with some thoughts, and at that time I was thinking something too – “I hope I can remain friends with you if I become a MM…”
After the parties we had to fill out our preference form. My PX explained that I should put both down, in order of preference. If I did not match with my first choice, I could always get my second choice. I asked if I HAD to put both – she said that you shouldn’t “suicide,” and encouraged me to list both chapters. I was thinking about both, the entire saga of joining a sorority and where I felt the best. I knew where my heart was and I did not think I would be happy if I ended up in the other chapter. I had my choice. On my preference card I wrote:
1. Martian Manhunter
2. ________________
Yes. I suicided. (and I am told by the computer that this is not a word… but I am using it.) I know I probably shouldn't have, and looking back, it wasn't the best idea, but it happened.
We had to wait by the phone (again, 2000…) from 6:30-6:45 in case we didn’t match. This was the worst 15 minutes. My packet says “Tell Tonica not to be on the computer…” (yes, dial up modems in 2000, millennium problems.)
No call.
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