Round Three - Sisterhood Round
I was anxious for round three, and to top it off I was sick. The long hours, lack of sleep and stress of recruitment (not to mention all the hands I shook!) had caused me to come down with a bad cold. I was sniffly and feverish, but I popped some pain medicine, packed some tissues in my purse, put on a nice dress and went over to meet my rush group. I'd tough it out, I decided.
Despite my slip-ups the day before, I thought I'd made a decent impression and had clicked with enough girls in each chapter.
We could have a total of 6 houses in this round, and it was going to be a very long day for many PNMs.
Then I got my slip. It read:
Cream Soda
Coca Cola
Now if you haven't been able to tell from my previous chapters, I can be an anxious person. I am sensitive. I worry a lot, I over-think things, and though I love being social, I have some social anxiety.
This just killed me. I had two chapters left, and if they didn't want me, I was done. It would all be over. I'd been cut so heavily so fast, why wouldn't I be cut completely? I panicked.
I went over to my Rho Gamma, about to burst into tears, and told her my situation. I had really come to love
Cream Soda, but I knew they were considered a competitive house and I was worried they wouldn't want me. But if they didn't want me,
Coca Cola might want me.
But as I explained to her - upset, hurt, and confused - I didn't know if I fit in at
Coca Cola. They were never my first choice, and I felt like I would probably end up there as it looked, which kind of made me feel trapped at the time, like this supposed "mutual selection" process hadn't been so mutual after all. This was coupled with the fact that I'd spent so much time researching, shopping, and prepping for recruitment and now after all of that it felt like 9 out of 11 chapters had decided I wasn't good enough to be their sister.
I was devastated, but my Rho Gamma assured me that I just had to put my best foot forward and show
Cream Soda that I really liked them.
It was painful passing by other rush groups in between my parties, knowing most of them had very busy, fun day ahead of them. I heard them chatting about all of the houses they had to choose from, discussing the yummy snacks they'd eaten at various houses I'd been cut from and really liked, etc. It stung, but I held my held high and walked into
Cream Soda.
When I walked in, I realized in horror that I'd forgotten to put on some make-up. I looked pretty much the same as I always did - I looked like me - but all of the
Cream Soda girls were always so done-up and beautiful that I felt like a gross, sick mess in comparison. Still, I was wearing my favorite Free People dress and I probably looked just fine.
I was paired with a sister that I had trouble connecting with. I was still in shock from being cut (and a little delirious from being sick), so when she commented, "Busy day today, huh?" I made the mistake I regret to this day, replying with "Oh, well I only have two parties."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Two?" she repeated. I could tell I messed up. I worried she was judging me. To break the ice a little, I picked up a scrapbook nearby (it was absolutely adorable) and looked through it with her. She relaxed after that, happy to recall fun times she had with her sisters. She told me a funny story about a new member retreat, and remembering what my Rho Gamma had told me, I used the opportunity to ask more about the new member program. She lit up and recalled fond memories of new member sleepovers and candle passes where everyone would open up and share whatever was on their mind with no judgment. I was sucked in. The scrapbook was amazing and her stories made me tear up. Having transferred in second semester freshman year to a cold, mostly lonely first semester, I realized this was exactly what I needed. Family. A home away from home.
A sister came by offering refreshments and I asked politely for a tissue, which I was handed. I apologized to my rusher that I was sick and discreetly blew my nose, but felt uncomfortable, like I was grossing her out or something.
A little while after my rusher walked away. I was sitting there by myself for a moment as the sister spoke to her recruitment chair. I felt really awkward, but I spotted a familiar face: my rusher from round two who I'd had a great conversation with. She was taking a pause too (I forget why, it was weird), and asked me who was rushing me. I pointed to her sister who'd gotten up and she nodded.
Then the girl sat back down and everything resumed as normal. I realized another sister in the room was wearing the same dress as me, and excitedly I pointed this out. She responded flatly with, "Oh, it's no big deal", and I felt confused. I hadn't meant it in a negative way. Soon she was joined by another sister, and the three of us had a casual, good talk, and eventually the first girl left. The remaining sister and I had a nice - if somewhat forced - final conversation. Then the party came to an end.
Next up was
Coca Cola. I was paired with a sister from the day before, and we had an okay conversation. I admit I don't remember much about them from this round, I was so focused on what I had potentially done wrong in
Cream Soda. It's safe to say it went more or less as it had during the previous rounds. I did get to talk to a new girl who I really liked and who was a wonderful conversationalist. Well...she liked to talk.
Then I went back to my room to sleep and recover. I called my mom, sobbed to her really, and let out all of the emotions I'd been holding in throughout the process. I told her my fears, my worries, and how badly I wanted to be a
Cream Soda. She promised to send me good thoughts and to stick it out, and reassured me the cuts weren't personal. She knew after all, she is also a sorority lady
And then there was pref night...