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With RFM, the girl's chance of getting A sorority increases, but it doesn't help getting into a particular chapter. And I think this is an increased problem with deferred recruitment, that the rushees know sorority women and assume that because they're friends, they're in. The sorority women are enthusiastic and encouraging, which is misinterpreted, and I think this may be even greater reason for counseling after the fact. You not only feel rejected, but you've been rejected by your FRIENDS. That's got to be an even harder pill to swallow.
I don't think competitive and recs necessarily go hand in hand (and man oh man I wish we could get rid of them and/or their importance in the process) but I still contend that having them is better than not having them, even if they don't affect the outcome. I'd say you did well to encourage her to get them no matter what.
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"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta
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