Jono, I'm glad you replied.
I used the word "fear" not directed at the "lifestyle" (I'll get to that later) but the potential outcomes of recruiting openly gay members.
Actually that has hurt at least one group on my campus. My little brother (blood) wouldn't even consider a certain group because they had like 8 fellas come out at once. This group's house has been the subject of much speculation and persecution since this time.
Sad but true, in our backwards corner of the Bible Belt these feared consequences are very very real.
It comes down to a very difficult question for a fraternity's leadership to address (or several)
Should we refuse to extend a bid to an openly gay man due to the possible fallout?
Does this man understand that with Sigma Nu you must have a 100% vote to be initiated? (this is sometimes a stumbling block, even when you have just ONE brother that doesn't consider ALL the facts about an individual).
And of course there are more.... For a chapter in my part of the country these are very real issues when it comes to this subject and they are very complex.
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As for lifestyle I should have qualified that as percieved lifestyle.
When a person thinks of what a gay man is supposed to be like (and most people think that way) they have a certain image. That is to say certain stereotypes are expected. Things like limp wrists and talking with a lisp and things done behind closed doors.
When a man says he's gay that's what many people think. They must come out of their comfort zones and explore the facts about each individual person. Some are willing and some are not.
It's that "some" that keep getting us hung up.
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You told me not to answer the question "What would they do if they did?" But I feel obligated to do so
While some might imagine the worst (and I'd bet a brother on the verge of coming out would do so), I honestly believe that their experience would be similar to yours. Very anti-climatic.
The fact that we already know this person and have already formed our concept of who they are I think will lead us to the truth that regardless of what they do.. they're still a brother.
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I've heard great things about your love and dedication to your organization. I could only hope to be blessed with brothers with the same zeal as yourself.
And I could give a rat's ass about anything else