To one of my summer B roomates: You are so weird! If I never had to hear the "Mortal Combat" song again or "Kung Fu Fighting" or "The Conga" or hear you introduce yourself to someone and say, "I'm majoring in aerospace engineering. Tee hee, I'm gonna be a rocket scientist!" it would be too soon. Kallie and I were so happy to move outta there. That day you were mad at us and Kari and we hid in Kallie's room, we were seriously scared for our lives. You are neither a fighting machine nor God's gift to men. And please brush your teeth and shave your legs, for the love of God.
To my former best guy friend: I am not a mind reader. Just because you called me every day to see how my day was does not mean I will figure out you like me. You had no right to go off on me for hooking up with Chris. And you definitely had no right to secretly hook up with my best friend for a semester, mess with her mind, and then expect to get with me.
To my next-door neighbors in Miami: I dislike your entire family. Even your dog, who barks at everything that moves. Isn't it time to move yet??
To my next-door apartment neighbors this past year: It would've been nice if we could've all been friends again, but no one would swallow their pride. Ah, life goes on.
OK, I think I'm done. For now.
