Unfortunately, if you're not an active or advisor directly related to MS, I think you're outta luck. And I'm sure it seems really personal, but with this number of girls, I really think it's not. You know the rules - they have to invite her back once and they can't invite her to pref if they don't want to put her on their first list. So I think if she's on the fence, she would actually get cut where other girls might get given the benefit of the doubt.
Hopefully Arkansas will get a little less intense with a few more chapters to ease the burden, but I think that's not really on the horizon until the NEXT round of expansions, which my dollar says will happen in the next 3-4 years.
Be happy for her successful rush, and maybe get involved with the parents' club at her chapter, or reinvigorate your alumna activity, and move on. Sorry
