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If you attend a chapter's preference party you are on that chapter's bid list, it's a question of where on the bid list. From what I understand, legacies are suppose to be listed first on bid lists.
FSU's Rho Gammas gives the PNM's their preference invitations privately and individually. You may not hear from your daughter right away. It took awhile for my daughter to text me last year.
Good luck to her!
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