Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopelli
I like how I made it pretty clear that I had self esteem issues and how great it felt to actually be wanted even when it wasn't my first choice, and everyone spends the rest of the thread saying "you're disgusting, they deserve better than you, quit now!" And you wonder why people don't have a good image of Greek life. Stay classy, ladies.
It's not even that I think I'm "better" than these women or I think they're some kind of harlots (but it's awesome that mentioning I was a Christian immediately made everyone think I was hardcore judging these girls for their personal decisions) - it's that I don't know if I can fit in with them, and I don't even know if I am cut out for Greek life as a whole. Less than 2% of my campus is Greek, and I'm just now understanding what I've really gotten myself into. I'm sure there are girls who would love to be in my spot, and if I did leave, maybe someone in COB would take my place who would immediately adore this chapter.
There is some great advice on here, and I'm seeing some of my sisters tomorrow, so I think I will bring up with the older girls that I have a lot of other commitments (my church isn't the only one) and I'm not sure if I can really devote myself here and see if they can help me out. We'll see how that, and my whole new member period, goes.
But really, thank you so much for all encouraging advice. I wasn't sure I was cut out for Greek life. Seeing some of the attitudes on here, maybe I'm just not.
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Um, I'm pretty sure no one said you were disgusting. You came on asking for advice. You also came on with an attitude. You may not like the advice, but we aren't going to sugar coat it for you. You aren't going to get people here being "oh yes sweetie...poor you...they are so mean...those meanies not giving you your first choice...etc..." We are going to tell you the facts.
What is disgusting is your attitude, which has nothing to do with self-esteem. You have already made, via a preconceived notion, that this chapter isn't right for you. You have a negative attitude about it. And as my awesome sister, adpiucf, pointed out, you are still upset that you didn't get your first choice.
Look, I get the last feeling, not getting your first choice (or getting what you wanted) sucks. We have all been there. But as humans we don't always get what we want and we have to get over it and move on. What is irking people is the fact that you do have these preconceived notions that you are placing upon the chapter as a whole. You are looking at what a couple of girls do and saying to yourself "the whole chapter must do this". This isn't true.
The reality is, every chapter is going to have the girls that party hard, the girls who sleep around, the brainiacs, the bitches, the sweeties. This is life. Not everyone has the same personalities, opinions, morals or ethics as those around them. That is also what makes a chapter exciting! You aren't going to find that everyone is just a drone.
You said that you appreciated that this chapter made you feel wanted. Why aren't you hanging on to that feeling? This chapter WANTED you!!!!!! If you can't or aren't willing to give all of yourself, get rid of your negative opinions that you have formed after one week, start anew, and actually make an effort to get to know the sisters, then what people are saying is right, you should quit. The chapter doesn't deserve a sister who doesn't really want to be there.
You also need to understand that you were wanted in both chapters but you were higher on your current chapters bid list than the other chapter's bid list. When it comes to matching, the system does want to give girls their top choices, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Think about those girls who didn't get matched at all (unless your school has a guaranteed placement if you maximize your options, which I think most schools are going too).
I don't know if maybe you are conflicted about all your other interests and activities and how it will work with a sorority. I can tell you that you can make it work. The chapter I used to advise is on a really small campus (like 3000 students). The girls are involved in multiple (and I mean multiple) activities. They made it work. They became experts and managing their time (when it came to their activities). As people have stated, you won't be able to miss mandatory events because of a church meeting or youth group. I'm sure most sororities only allow you to miss mandatory events for class or emergencies. You would really need to talk to your new member educator about that.
I still stand by my previous opinion that if you can't give 110%, and get rid of your negative attitude and your preconceived notions about the chapter, then you should quit.
Only you can decide.