[Lovethesand]

Fingers crossed all morning for Debbie. I know God has more important things to do but I sent a few little prayers to Him throughout the morning. Debbie sends me a text an hour before they were supposed to meet their group and said she was dying to know. She said she’s very nervous. Me too. According to the Panhellenic email the night before, I will be getting and email and text by noon with her house. I may find out before she does or I may not. I am completely useless at home. At least during the week I had work to occupy my mind even if it took away from my GreekChat F5’ing.

Finally I get a call from Debbie about 11:50 am her time. Debbie is crying. I can barely make out what she said except that she didn’t get Coronado and got her second choice, South Beach. It’s so hard to talk to her because I can barely understand her. Think dogs howling. Debbie had the composure to at least have her mini-breakdown in the privacy of her room.

I don’t know any of these houses so I have no preference except for what Debbie wants and thinks will make her happy. She’s devastated and I’m sad for her for that reason. I try to let her vent meanwhile the practical/dark side mom in me wants to ask if she’s going to accept South Beach's bid and go to Bid Day in an hour. I tell her I’m sorry she didn’t get Coronado. I tell her how sorry I am she’s disappointed because I know she really wanted them. Funny how quickly even one with no preconceived notions can fall in love in a matter of days. I encourage her to talk to her Gamma Chi but she doesn’t want to. She says everybody got their first choice and she’s the only one who didn’t, she’s the only one unhappy. I have no idea if it’s true or not but she’s still crying. Then she says, “I wish you were here, mom”. Dagger.through.the.heart. Luckily somebody knocks on her dorm room and she says she’ll call me later. I get a reprieve and try to figure out what to say next.

About 30 minutes later she calls back to say she’s going to Bid Day but I can hear absolutely zero excitement in her voice. I encourage her to give it a chance, put her happy face on (don’t rain on everybody else’s parade), and try to have fun. One of the girls in her group also received a bid from South Beach so they’re going together. I have no idea if her friend is happy or not, all I know is Debbie isn’t.

A few hours later she calls back, said she went to Bid Day, and she’s going to meet up with some friends later. I have a million questions, a million platitudes to share with her but I know her and now is not the time. She said Bid Day didn’t turn out the way she thought it would and it’s hard to start thinking she’s a South Beach when she really wanted to be a Coronado. Now she throws in maybe she should have ranked Big Beach above South Beach. I think the pageantry of the other sororities having a physical house and South Beach not is making the day sting a little more. It was never an issue until Bid Day. No dig at Big Beach at all but I remind her that Big Beach was never a house she felt comfortable in since Round 1 and she shouldn’t let the lack of house make her crazy. I don’t want her thinking about what-if. I get off the topic of Bid Day because it’s like a big dark cloud and tell her to have fun with her friends and just relax.

Meanwhile her dad and I are talking. Debbie's dad was ehhh about her joining a sorority before this started because he had no experience with it. He is disappointed for her but wants her to keep an open mind and give South Beach a chance. He’s even done research now and knows how strong South Beach is nationally and he's even researched their values. Dad who knows nothing about Greek life thinks this will be a great opportunity for her.

We both decide it’s appropriate for her to be disappointed but after a day or two we want her to move forward and be positive about the opportunity she has. Now if I can only get her to understand and appreciate that. There are days when being a mom is thankless and this is one of them. They want you to say something but is anything the right thing? It’s a minefield of all the wrong things you can say.

I share with a few of my Greek experts Debbie’s results. They tell me that South Beach is a great sorority. They tell me she should give it a chance, a few months. They tell me this happens to lots of girls, some even get their #3 choice, and some don’t get a house. All the things I know and all the things I know Debbie will know once the drama and emotion of Bid Day passes. I think too the emotion of the entire week, leaving home, a new chapter in her life, highs and lows of a Bedlam recruitment, and a tear or two was bound to happen. I think she was just hoping to avoid one final rejection and even if it’s a numbers game, it’s the computer, it’s whatever other reason, it still feels like rejection.

So basically my Saturday mood is in a funk because my Debbie isn’t happy. I don’t feel like doing any of the things I was going to do. I decide instead to lie on the couch, drink Diet Coke, and watch tv. Sounds good to me. During my leisure I peruse (ok stalk) twitter and Facebook. What do I find? A Bid Day pic of Debbie with her new house. I enlarge the picture (thank you iPad for that feature) and closely inspect her face. No red eyes, no smeared mascara, and she has a smile on her face. At least for the purpose of memories she looks happy. I copy and paste the picture so I can print it out later. I’ll put it in a frame and send it to her later.