[adpiucf]

You can't base a sorority decision on the cost of membership. One, you don't have the numbers despite what appear to be valiant efforts. Two, sorority membership is like buying a pair of pants. You want the pair that fits all your needs (including price). Your daughter can't drop sororities unless her schedule allows it, as you may recall from your other daughter's recruitment.

Sit tight. It's a week of events. Let her see it through to the end and try to get the best information about dues as she can. I am sort of puzzled that the chapters don't do a basic run down during their house tours day or one of the days of recruitment. That is done at every school where I have ever assisted with recruitment. And I've helped out at schools around the country. The girls get some type of fact sheet or explanation. I think your daughter is not being clear with you or she is giving you the run around because you're pestering her to drop sororities based on supposed costs that may or may not be accurate costs. I call BS. Sorry to sound like a jerk, but I would wager your daughter is not telling you everything. The PNMs are informed of these costs-- most of them ignore the information and a few drop out after Bid Day when they realize they can't afford it.

The first semester of pledging will always be the most $$$ with one time new member fees and a badge purchase. There will be some type of immediate down payment expected before new member initiation. There are also payment plans that members can work toward.

I get that your daughter is in a difficult major, but this doesn't mean she can't work during the school year. That's an excuse. If she wants this badly enough, she can find a way to work a few hours a week. She can also find a job during the summers to help pay for the things she wants to do. I'm not really understanding why you don't let her be the young adult she is and figure this out on her own. If you can help a bit, awesome. If she later realizes she bit off more than she can chew, it is a great life lesson. You stated in an earlier post "We want to honor our commitment long term." There's no "our" here. Your daughter is an adult now. And she's afraid of getting cut for asking how much sorority dues are? If she will later have to drop out because she can't afford it, she is in the same boat either way. She doesn't need the blinged out badge or $1K in tshirts and "zaps" every semester. She can learn to budget.

It's great that you want to help your daughter, but this "our" talk sounds like typical helicopter parenting. If she later can't afford it or doesn't want to make it work, she won't stay in her hypothetical sorority. That's life.