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I was lucky enough to end up where I belong, but the process of getting there was really awful. In a weird way, though, I'm glad it happened, because if it didn't, I wouldn't know the amazing women who are now some of my best friends.
On a sort of related note, I know it's been said a million times, but do keep an open mind when you rush. I remember getting an unfavorable impression of one house from convo days, thinking that the girls didn't seem the brightest and not like people I'd get along with. Turns out I now have a bunch of friends in that house who are nothing like my impression of the women I talked to! Had things, for whatever reason, gone a different way and I'd ended up in that house despite having written them off initially, I think I could have been happy there too.
That's another thing: while I absolutely adore my sisters and wouldn't trade them for anything, at most schools with lots of (I'll say more than eight) chapters and houses that have plenty of girls (I'll say over 50), you're bound to find a few houses where you will fit right in, and there will be girls who could easily be your best friend (no matter what their house's "rep" is) in every house. There will probably also be a few houses where you wouldn't necessarily fit in with the entire house for the long-term, but you'd still probably meet some amazing women and make some great friends—and if, by the time initiation rolls around, you know it's not the right house for you, then you can drop (I'll probably get flack for advising that, but I don't see why girls should get initiated into chapters they won't be happy in, effectively forbidding them from ever joining another sorority where they might fit in much better).
I can't really speak for SEC/other schools where recruitment is at such an insane level, but it seems to me that at schools that are non-competitive (for the PNMs) to moderately competitive, you probably will end up where you're supposed to be. Or at least, you'll have the opportunity to end up where you're supposed to be—no one but you can make you take advantage of that opportunity!
I have a feeling this wasn't entirely coherent (I've been in a vaguely incoherent mood all day), so let me know if you need me to clarify any of that...
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