[libramunoz]

The worst wedding I ever attended was my brothers-to his first wife.

They got married in Atl in 1997 in January, which in intself is fine, but we lived in Texas and havng just graduated from college in May the previous year, I didn't have that much money. Now this is the easiest part of the story, and there is a backstory involved.

Backstory: While my brother was in college, my uncle had gotten him involved into some weird shit! Weird as in the vesteges of this is some BULLSHIT and you mean to tell me, people ACTUALLY BELIEVE this? So my BBB was heavily vested into this cult thing and this had become his way of life and he was pissed at me because when I graduated from college, he wanted me to join and I didn't.

Push forward to Sept of 96. I'd met my to be SIL in Sept of 96---ONLY because when I graduated from 'Dega in 96, I had asked my Bigheaded Big Brother (who was living in Atl at the time) to keep some of my belongings until I was able to get a job and send for my things. Cool, fine, whatever--he comes and gets them. Well by June of 96, I had found a job and sent the fool a 100 dollar money order to ship my crap via my friend (Greyhound). Well by Sept, the BBB still hasn't sent my stuff and I'm like WTF!

So with my crazy tail, I say I will go and get my shit! I had 3 days off from work, get paid that Wed, go to Greyhound, get a trip and am in Atl by Thurs. I go to BBB's job to ask about my crap! Well lo and behold, here comes this receptionst from the desk and I ask for BBB. She says well, yes, he's here, who can I say is asking for him. I tell her it's his sister and I need to speak with him. I'm not really catching on, but she is shooting my some crazy looks and goes and gets BBB.

Well suffice to say, BBB comes out and is pissed with me and the arguement ensues. "What are you doing here, why are you here?" "I'm here b/c I want my stuff, I sent you the money, what's YOUR problem?" "Why are you at my job, you shouldn't be here. You need to go home." "Ok, I'll go home, but WITH my money and my crap" As you can tell, it's your normal brother and sister argument. Lo and behold, this same receptionist comes from around the corner and is looking back and forth between BBB and myself.

Now if you know siblings, there are some features that you can look at and tell that they are siblings or relatives, and we happen to fall into this category with the exception of two categories: height and weight. I'm short as hell and he's tall as hell and I'm a big girl and he's a skinny bird! But, we are both day glow bright, have the same facial features, both have curly hair, and wear glasses, and both look like we belong to the same sets of parents, with a few exceptions.

Anyways, I digressed. This receptionist person comes from around the door, corner, booth (don't know where and don't care) and grabs ahold of BBB and gives me the Up-Down-All Around over look that is filled with contempt and the way she grabs him, it's for dear life and to ensure that I'm not gonna steal "her" man. With this look, it grabs ahold of my attention to the point that I ask BBB "Who is this WOMAN staring at me?" BBB says, "Oh libra, that's XYZ, that's my fiancee." I then return the same look to XYZ chick because he then says to her "XYZ, this is my sister, libra."

Anyways, after the argument, we go to his apt, get my shit, and put it and me on the same bus back to TX. As I get on the same bus (I'd just left it about 2 1/2 hrs ago, the bus driver asks, "didn't I just drop you off, and I tell him, yeah, and now I'm going back."

So in Dec, we (me and our Mom) get an invitation from BBB and XYZ. O.K. and in the invite, it has that they are registed at Crate and Barrel. We'll as I work in Dallas, I go to C and B and get the list to see what they are registered for. It's some of the fugliest crap I've ever seen, but I buy a few things for them for me and Mom. In Jan, Mom gets the hotel room, I make my dress, Mom makes hers (no, we have no IDEA of their color scheme) and gets her hat. The day that Mom and I are to go, my Aunt (her sister) has to pick me up from work as Mom is at work. I get sick as a dog in the middle of a July heat in the deserts of Arizona. But I go anyways.

Me and Mom's drive down there. I'm sick as hell going. My stomach is flying up, down, and around, but it's not where it's supposed to be. My cough is sounding like I have TB and I feel like a great pile of goat shit all the way down there. Going is no prob, Mom's drives all the way.

We get there, and that night is the rehersal dinner. Mind you, Mom's doesn't know jack doodly squat about Atl and BBB is no help (matter of fact, a seeing eye dog would've been more help than him). Mom tells me to stay in the hotel to get better and she'll go. Fine, OK, I'm feeling like goat shit still, not a great big pile, but it's still there. Mom's goes and returns to tell me about it.

It's at their apartment. To be SIL is just now meeting Mom's and her eyes pop when she sees our Mother. Now, to explain, most people, when they see our Mother have the same expression. Why, because our Mother is 6' 1" tall and is a beautiful cocoa nut brown complexion. Again, we are day glow bright colored (like toffee, but with a little more milk added), so that just filps people out, why I don't know. Anyways, to be SIL makes a comment about Mom's that I hear about the next day that almost makes me want to jump on her ass and beat the shit outta her. She tells her sister or one of their friends (not sure who), that our Mom's is "too dark." Mind you, I meet her Mom, Step-Father, and sister the next day. Her mom is the same complexion of ours, her Step-Father is white, and her sister is the Ebony. I'm like "no the Bitch didn't." At the rehersal dinner, it's a bit crazy (I don't remember all too damn long ago), but I know that Mom's told me she was upset about one of the items from C and B was broken that I'd bought for them.

The wedding (if you can call it that). Mom's looks splendid in her magenta dress and hat, I look good in my royal purple outfit, and my BBB, looks crazy. The bride needed help getting dressed, but her dress was o.k. My brother was in a white tux, but didn't want to talk to our Mom's for more than 5 minutes and was being a complete asshat about that. (He wanted to convert Moms--wasn't going to happen).

The Ceremony is at a local community center that you had to freaking find to get too. BBB had included the directions, but they weren't good, did I say he was bieng an asshat? The room only had folding chairs on both sides of the room (that were so flimsy, that I felt if I sat down in one, my ass was going to be sitting on the floor within 5 minutes and I didn't sit down during the ceremony). It only had two tables that were up, one for the cake (with no topper) and one for the gifts, and the only other decorations were: the palm trees in the room itself, the isle runner, and my brothers boom box which served as the DJ. The ceremony was done by one of the "leaders" in his organization and to this day, I'm not sure if the thing was legal. They exchanged rings, gave a kiss, and then cut the cake, that I don't believe that we ever got a piece of. There was a couple of plates of cheese and crackers, some bottles of 7-up, and some bowls of mints and nuts. Then we had to wait for them after the "ceremony" to go to the reception, because they had to clean up the "ceremony site" in order to get their deposit back.

The reception was held at Ryan's. YES Ryans. Me and Mom's were limited on funds and you had to PAY for YOUR OWN food. What The HOLY Hell? I didn't eat much and neither did Moms. We left after about 45 minutes of the reception because whatever I came to Atl with, I kindly passed on to Mom's.

We left the next day. Mom could only drive for an hour and I took over the rest of the way. I remember falling asleep on the way back in Mississippi and in Louisiana (yes, while driving). I remember in Alabama, I stopped for gas at this crazy gas station. When I entered, you could hear a pin drop and I think one of the patrons stopped eating cold turkey. Suffice to say, even though I had to pee BADLY, I got the gas and got the **(^*(^((*^ outta there, real quick. In Louisiana, I woke up while driving only because I heard a state trooper passing the car faster than I was (We were going around a curve and I was doing 95). I discovered why LONGVIEW, TX is called Longview and mind you, it started to rain, and the damn windshield wiper (on the drivers side) stopped working.

I tell you I was NEVER so happy to see this happy hamlet where I live now.

The marriage lasted about 5 years (don't really remember, didn't like SIL) and he's now married to another one that I don't like.